22 Weeks - The Mamas and Papayas

Laughed way to hard and long at the sloth whispering sweet papayas. So we are at 22 weeks! Fact: there are 22 yards in a chain. Yup, I didn't care either. 

This week baby weighs an entire pound! Since I only weigh a "couple" more than her, we are basically twins. But seriously only 1lb? Am I having a litter? Couple babies in the belly, few in the thighs, gaggle in the butt... 

Guess I shouldn't blame it on the fetus. I've really taken to this whole eating for "two" idea... I was all cozy in bed on Saturday and Andrew was out in the living room - closer to the fridge I might add - so I figured I would try to get him to bring his wonderful pregnant wife a little snack. Not too much to ask right? Well, this is how it played out:

I got my own snack. Baby also "accidentally" ate Andy's Mars bar today... ohhhh snap. 

We have started to seriously look at baby names now and wowza it is stressful! Girl's names are hard! Too girly, too common, too slutty. What a big decision... We don't want to name her "to the world" before she is born, but honestly, we probably won't even have fully decided on one until the last minute. 

As I mentioned last week, I felt a the first kick and it was a big one we were both able to feel. For days after that I didn't feel anything. Was getting a little worried until Wednesday night when I ate some chocolate and put on 16 and Pregnant. She LOVED it... or hated... we'll go with love. She was moving around like crazy! Thought it was a one off, but then last night she was squirming around all though Catfish. See! We are twins I tell ya! Underbite, love for shit reality TV, covered in cheese... I have a vivid memory of sitting on my tire swing when I was about 7 wishing for a twin sister... who said wishes don't come true -- albeit 23 years later.

• How far along: 22 weeks 
• Total weight gain: "tried" to go clothes shopping... am now scarred. 
• Maternity clothes? see above. don't want to talk about it. 
• Stretch marks? No... Andy asked "when are you going to get stretch marks? You have always liked scars." Haha, I do!
• Sleep: Not bad
• Best moment this week: Last lecture... countdown has begun!
• Miss Anything? Caxton St car park
• Movement: Dancing!
• Food cravings: Fried rice
• Anything making you queasy or sick: Na, can't say the same for others who attended State of Origin - won't say names.
• Gender: Lil' lady
• Labor Signs: No
• Symptoms: Stomach cramps
• Belly Button: Maybe getting flatter? 
• Wedding rings: On
• Mood: Eh, not bad. 
• Looking forward to: Watching Dr Phil with my girl

21 Weeks - What's Eating Gilbert Grapefruit

BLACKJACK! 21 weeks... I hope she is celebrating this milestone appropriately. Preferably at Crown Uterine Casino, sporting a maroon velvet umbilical cord, sipping on a placenta strained 21 week old Chivas. No windows. No clocks. 19 weeks will be gone before she knows it. 

Since we are over the halfway bump it's all easy from here right? Hahaha yeah sure. All in all, my second trimester has been really good. Hoping this good luck streak stays true, but mentally (and physically) preparing for it to all to come crashing down... cankles, haemorrhoids and all. Until then I'll try to enjoy the 2nd tri ride. Might as well since, mark my words, pregnancy will be the only triathlon I'll ever do. 

Ooo! Ooo! I got some news! I finally felt her kick on Tuesday night! While I'm no expert in fetal movement, I'm relatively positive it would rate high in a top 10 cutest kicks comp. She waited until mommy and daddy were lying by each other, kicked once for me and then kicked again when Andy put his hand on my tummy! I'm so proud! She might have waited a little longer than some, but she strategically waited to get both of our full attention. Little show off... wonder where she gets that from? Andy I assume. 

It's less than a month until we get to go to the US and see friends and family! I'm growing rather quickly now and it will be interesting to see just how big I am from the time we get there and leave (total of 4 weeks). I have added a couple belly bump photos. It's weird as I don't feel as big as I look in the photos. Sometimes I'll walk by a mirror or window and wonder who the chick with a beer gut is. I then realize it's pregnant me (cue "awww's") and get all giddy. Then I think about how nice an ice cold XXXX would be and get jealous of fictional keg gut girl. Vicious vicious circle! 

(Note the obligatory hand cupping pubis shot.)

• How far along: 21 weeks 
• Total weight gain: about 8 to 10lbs
• Maternity clothes? Nothing new, it's amazing how hard it is to get a decent plain maternity T-shirt around these parts!
• Stretch marks? Nope (hope it stays this way!)
• Sleep: Getting a little more difficult, but fine overall
• Best moment this week: Pitter patter of tiny kicks
• Miss Anything? Cold cuts
• Movement: Finally!
• Food cravings: American fast food
• Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing in particular... did throw up a little this week - both ends, but was a bit under the weather
• Gender: XY
• Labor Signs: No
• Symptoms: Growing belly pains
• Belly Button: It's like a shot glass, seriously. I should rent my belly out for parties.
• Wedding rings: On
• Mood: Good
• Looking forward to: More kicks and bowling tomorrow night

What's the situation down there?

The usual bus never came this morning and almost missed my appointment! When I finally got on a bus it was "old ladies outing" day or some shit. Every one of them paid in cash and wanted to chat up the male bus driver at every single stop. Ohmygod I was about to bust a cap. After finally getting to the Valley, running to the radiology office with a bursting bladder and on the verge of tears.... I made it! After all that, the office was running about 20-30min late anyway. Typical. Anyway... enough white whine blabbering...

For the results:

Although, bub was not in a great position and we have decided to call it 90/10 until the 4D scan... the sonographer was 90% sure that it is......

a cupcake!

But a GIRL cupcake!

Not a great photo and the sono lady had to ask if we even wanted a copy... I was like "Uhhh yeah! I love giant forearms!" Baby was a little squished and she had to crop out the right side, so we don't think she is part pancake but only time will tell. Should get some more detailed photos come July. 

Also, if you are wondering, yes that bow was taken off a pair of my panties. In my defence they were brand new maternity panties making them even less sexier (if even possible). No getting double pregnant in this household!

I'm just a bit worried that she is "sticking it to the man" *fist pump*... next thing I know she'll be graffiting my uterus. 

20 Weeks - Banana Montana

1/2 Mile! Pregnancy half full or half empty? Ooooohhhh oooo half way there... ooooo ohhhhhh sing it! Ok so it's obviously 20 weeks... Sorry for the late post and this will be a short one because in 2 hours we find out the chromosomal situation aka. gonads aka. nuts or peanut free aka. bronco or filly. 

Needless to say, I'm really excited. So excited that I told everyone in my first prenatal class last night when I was just supposed to say my name. Of course nobody cared as they all have their own buns to worry about, but now they know... you are welcome RBWH Active Pregnancy Physiotherapy Class.

I was a bit nervous for the class at first because the sheet said "bring a water bottle and a towel" Gulp. With my athletic track record this could have been one of those "take basketball in 7th grade but never make one basket the entire season" moments. Been there, done that, scarred for life. Lucky for everyone involved no strenuous exercise was required. I also knew all the pregnancy anatomy questions. Visualise the one person in class with their hand raised jumping up and down to answer the question, 

"Oh that was a rhetorical question? I'll still answer that just to be safe." 

Nailed it! By now everyone hated me even more. To top it off we have Andy doing all the exercises with the pregnant ladies. All the other husbands just sat there but Andy did his kegels along with the rest of us. We are going to win at this damn pregnancy thing if it kills us!

While it's great having a supportive husband it seems that if I tell him something about pregnancy and my body it goes in one ear and out the other. However, if someone else tells him then it's gospel. Last night watching Catfish (after the class) Andy's says, "Ummm, you shouldn't be on your back." Ok fair enough... This morning I woke up and was stretching a bit on my back then rolled over onto my side to go back to sleep and I hear this creepy whisper, 

"Good girl." 

• How far along: 20 weeks 
• Total weight gain: don't even go there
• Maternity clothes? just larger sizes of normal clothes :(
• Stretch marks? Not yet
• Sleep: yes andy, side 
• Best moment this week: First prenatal class!
• Miss Anything? Subway
• Movement: NO! A bit worried. 
• Food cravings: Maltesers.... there's a preggo chick in the ad so it's ok right?
• Anything making you queasy or sick: People that smell like they have eaten the same dinner every night for a year
• Gender: Final countdown!
• Labor Signs: No
• Symptoms: Tight arches again... so weird
• Belly Button: Gorge 
• Wedding rings: On
• Mood: Pretty good
• Looking forward to: Ultrasound in T-Minus 90 min!

19 Weeks - Mango Unchained

19 weeks = Mango baby. A cheese covered mango apparently. Not even kidding. 

Whattoexpect asked, "Have you ever seen a mango covered in cheese?" 

"Well no, in fact I haven't." 

But my uterus apparently has. Baby is now covered in some "cheese-like substance" called vernix caseosa. If I had read this in the first trimester I would have had to bust it to the nearest toilet or garbage bin. Envisioning this now makes me rather peckish. 

As mentioned per week 18 post, with the amount of cheese and dairy I've been consuming I'm pretty sure this bub has been covered in a "cheese-like substance" since day one. Yummmmm... double cheese.... 

I saw a photo of a 19 week old (miscarried) baby and it looked like a real baby! I mean, duh Julia of course it did, but I guess I didn't really get it. I guess being in a lab during the week you get used to working with things you can't physically see.

Part of me was excited that it actually looked like a homo sapien and not a cluster of cells or a root vegetable, but the other part of me really freaked out. Some people have telling me my life is over "as I know it" or "you have no idea" and in my head I was all on my high horse, "blah blah blah fuck you". Yeah that backfired. Now I'm panicking realising it's all true! Went into depression dooner-day mode on Monday and have yet to snap fully out of it. Please feel free to tell me everything will be alright (I am not above fishing for compliments). Also I think that it would be really helpful if someone wanted to shower me with socks that look like shoes and/or sharks.

Oh yeah almost forgot, on Saturday we bought a Valco Cocoon (soft carry cot) from some nice lesbians. The Zippster approves:

• How far along: 19 weeks 
• Total weight gain: definitely increasing!
• Maternity clothes? New: one loose sweater
• Stretch marks? Nope. Thought I did but turned out to be scratch marks (super itchy!)
• Sleep: Moving around a bunch trying to get comfy 
• Best moment this week: 4 assignments due last week. Done. Handed in. BOOM.
• Miss Anything? Turkey sandwiches
• Movement: No. Well don't think so... lots of gas bubbles 
• Food cravings: McDonalds
• Anything making you queasy or sick: Na. Wait, there was this lady on the bus today that smelt like she was dying. 
• Gender: 50/50... soon we'll know!
• Labor Signs: No
• Symptoms: Belly aches
• Belly Button: Deeper. Is that even possible?
• Wedding rings: On
• Mood: Ugh.
• Looking forward to: First pregnancy class and 20 week scan, it's all happening!!!

18 Weeks - Yameron Diaz

18 Weeks and baby is the size of a sweet potato. A sweet potato? Really? At the grocery store I always have to dig though all of the sweet potatoes to get the small ones because some of those puppies are big! I googled "baby size of sweet potato" to see what measurements we were talking about and some idiot commented, 

"The tracker provides weights and measurements so that you know what size sweet potato to compare with baby. The fruits and veggies on this tracker are just rough estimates of baby's size."

No shit Sherlock? My baby really isn't a 16 inch yam dick? Good thing you cleared that up! Too bad though, baby Strawberry Schlong and lil' Mushroom Head were looking for a new phallic friend.

Enough penis talk, it's not even gender reveal yet! I've been a bit worried about my diet lately as I have had a not-so-secret affair with all things Snickers. To make myself feel better I bought the generic brand in hopes that it just wouldn't be the same. Bzzt! Wrong. I am now in the midst of a heated food menage a trois: Julia, Snickers and Woolworth's Select Peanut Obsession... I've also been over doing it with the dairy. Let's just say our bedroom doesn't really smell like flowers in the evening. I have to announce when it's safe to enter. On the bright side, I read:

Your baby’s bones are ossifying, meaning they’re getting stronger and are less like cartilage. Watch your calcium intake and make sure you’re getting enough dairy foods (YEA!). Even if you’re not a milk drinker get into some cheese (Check), yoghurt (Check), custard, ice-cream (Check, check, check), fish with edible bones (Barf) and even almonds (Check).

Ok, now I'm not feeling so bad. Basically, I just have to eat some custard and I'm set. Snickers custard counts right? This baby is going to have titanium grade bones.

I really haven't had any crazy cravings but secretly hoping I get some. I would love to walk around school dipping chalk into a jar of mayo. I thought I had a craving for fish and made some tonight. Turns out I still don't like fish. 

Today I also found our baby naming book (from Aunty Jess) in the toilet. Well not IN the actual toilet, but in the room with the toilet (FYI: bathroom and toilet are often separate in Australia). It's right on top of his accumulating Pearl Jam members and Broncos' magazines. On top! I was so proud of Andy. You must be pregnant when you tear up over feces speckled reading material. 

Was looking extra plump today so took a few photos:

• How far along: 18 weeks 
• Total weight gain: varies depending on time of day... morning still only up a few lbs total
• Maternity clothes? lots of leggings
• Stretch marks? Nope. Cellulite? Yep. 
• Sleep: Good, normal
• Best moment this week: Andy went to to the servo after the stores closed to get me ice cream :)
• Miss Anything? Soft serve...tirdy cent cones mofo
• Movement: Anxiously waiting but nothing
• Food cravings: Snickers
• Anything making you queasy or sick: Fish
• Gender: Dreamt it was a boy... still think girl though
• Labor Signs: No
• Symptoms: A couple headaches and sore arches
• Belly Button: Deep end of the pool
• Wedding rings: On
• Mood: Not bad... a bit stressed with school but nothing out of the ordinary 
• Looking forward to: Masterchef starting next week (muhahahah it never ends... never ends...)